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Fostering / Adoption Infertility Loss of a baby Uncategorized

When Mother’s Day is Hard

Several of my friends have recently suffered miscarriages. They endure the anguish of feeling their bodies begin to change to make room for a growing baby only to lose the child. I, too, have experienced it—four times. At first we thought perhaps I had a problem with fertility. It took us a year to get pregnant and then seven weeks to lose the baby. I got pregnant quickly again and miscarried at ten weeks. Eventually I had a sweet baby boy. After him I miscarried two more times and then had my girl.

This Mother’s Day may come as yet another reminder to women everywhere that they don’t have something they desire. Another year of miscarriages, infertility, or even waiting for a child through the adoption process. Whatever the unfulfilled desire, it tugs at your heart and plagues your mind.

When I thought about writing this article, I recalled a new friend who recently asked me for advice. So instead of an article, I wrote a note to my friends and anyone else God may want to read in on the conversation. So I pray you would be blessed by this note as well.


Dear Friend,

I am so sorry for your wait. It is hard. I’m not going to pretend it isn’t. I’m not going to tell you that everything will be better if you take these five steps. The only thing I know for sure is that Christ loves you. He really does sympathize with you. You can read God’s words to you in Hebrews: “For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin. Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need” (Hebrews 4:15-16).

I know you’ve probably seen this verse many times, but I think God has a lot to say to you in these verses. He is reminding you that he isn’t far-off. He has entered into the ugly and hard places that you see your heart going as you struggle with worry or anxiety or fear or anger. He knows it. He knows your temptation. Jesus reminds you that he walked this earth perfectly for you. And in your weakness he invites you to draw near to him. He wants to comfort you and uphold you with his righteous right hand. Come to him, weary friend, and receive grace and peace and rest. This is your time of need. Mother’s Day is your time of need, and he does not turn away from you during your time of need; he wants you to find grace to help.

Friend, I pray that you would receive his good grace today. As you look to Mother’s Day know that he has you in mind and intercedes even now on your behalf.  “The LORD is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit” (Psalm 34:18).

Trillia Newbell is the author of Sacred Endurance: Finding Grace and Strength for a Lasting FaithIf God Is for Us: The Everlasting Truth of Our Great Salvation: A 6-week Bible Study on Romans 8Fear and Faith: Finding the Peace Your Heart CravesUnited: Captured by God’s Vision for Diversity, Enjoy: Finding the Freedom to Delight Daily in God’s Good Gifts, and the children’s book, God’s Very Good Idea: A True Story of God’s Delightfully Different Family. You can find her at trillianewbell.com and follow her on Twitter.

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