Loss of a baby

The First Christmas

I remember well walking into our living room on that first Christmas morning with my husband to open our Christmas presents, and the feeling of utter grief washing over me as we faced Christmas without our baby.   We sat together on the couch and wept.

The pain of that day has changed and further Christmas days have never been quite as raw as that one.   The grief of losing a baby never leaves you and manifests itself differently with the passage of time.  Whether Christmas, Birthdays, the first day of school, holidays – there is no end to the life events which can trigger that sense of loss and the reminder of the hope which you once held dearly for your child.

I discovered this portion of a letter from Samuel Rutherford to a grieving parent.

“Grace rooteth not out the affections of a mother… He commandeth you to weep, and that princely One who took up to heaven with Him a man’s heart to be a compassionate High Priest”.

We may weep this Christmas but with hope in Jesus because of the first Christmas’ above all others.

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